and then I got over it…

Before we go any further, I strongly encourage you to read my first blog. It will help you to understand me, well maybe not….well maybe just a little.

I posted earlier a post on fb that seemed straight forward (well in my head). Hard NO on that.

I’m a person who doesn’t like to dance around with chit chat, I like to get straight to the point.

The reason for that…………….my past experiences.

I’ve now surrounded myself with the same type of people.

I said in the post, “what if we could just get over it?”

The IT that I’m referring to is the betrayal, the hurt, the anger, the guilt, and so on.

Now, I’m not saying we have to find the magic pill that makes it all go away, (that’d be awesome). What I am saying is:

  1. We absolutely can not in any way shape or form change someone else.
  2. We absolutely can not in any way shape or form change their past, or our past.

So not what the eff do we do with that?

Well we could sit in a dark room and be mad about it I guess.

*While the other person or persons are at a party livin the dream.

*While the other person is making fabulous plans and going on with their life.

*Waste a day in a dark cloud, not hearing the birds chirp, or the enjoying the smell of fresh rain.

*Ya for sure, let’s be mad. At home. Alone. That’ll teach em.

Now let’s not get stuff in a bunch. I’m not saying that what they did is right, I’m not saying that someday they won’t change (on their own).

What I am saying is, we need to figure out how to be happy without them.

What I am saying is, don’t value their opinion so much that your self worth is attacked.

Once you decide to make yourself a priority, s@#t changes. People will drop off like flies (the wrong people), you may be alone for awhile, won’t lie to you about that. The alone is where you find yourself, it’s where you find your power..

New people come in, sometimes old people come back but with a different attitude, jobs change.

BUT….

We need to get over it.

We need to get professional help. We need to talk this crap out. We need to accept our own kick in the a@#.

We need to start the SELF help journey. Counselling, Meditating, Exercise, Healthy Eating habits… and it won’t be over night, but changes will happen. Positive changes.

S@#t will hit the fan in this process, so buckle down and put on your storm windows. When everything is over.. smooth(ish) waters.

 

 

Lifes Lemons to SunnySide

And sometimes… when life hands you a storm of lemons… being grateful that you can chose how you like your eggs is enough to change the mood.

And sometimes… it’s the little things that you need to focus on to get through.

The Post Bullying Movement

Some merchandise has finally arrived!

Read the post bullying movement blog for details.

Become part of the movement and wear clothes with a purpose!

To order use the “contact” form and I will be in touch.

Have a groovy evening!

The Law of the Reaper and Sewing

Reapin and Sewin – Sewin and Reapin

A pretty famous dude, once spoke these words. Love him or hate him, there still are no truer words.
Now before we get after it, I really want to encourage you to read my blog called, The Blog. This is where you learn that when I write, I write for me, and if you happen to take away anything from my opinion…. Most excellent.
Let’s get after it.
When I was growing up , I was surrounded with a lot of religion. The kind that makes you fear so many things. As I grew up, I turned it into my personal belief system and took the labels and fear away from it.
ZERO As easy as it sounds, zero as fun as it sounds. It’s literally the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Read” The Blog”, and you can see why( literally) was thrown in there. Hahaha welcome hub ;).
Now I wont ever dis my past. When I talk about my past, it’s only for you to take some insight and deeper meaning. The past is who you have become. You’ve heard that at least 100 times.
Personal opinion, know your past, then you can see what steps need to be takin to get on with your world.
*side note… don’t always really on friends for advice in super difficult times. It’s not always fare for them. Remember they are your support system. I stress the word SUPPORT. You may not have an R5 relationship (see the Relationship scale blog). You know what I mean guy’s. EXAMPLE. “ omg I’m sooo lost , I don’t know what to do, I’ve been crying all day, what should I do?” friends answer, “well when I was in your place, …….blah blah blah. “ and now you’re mad. Go to a PROFESSIONAL guys. Unless you’re going to say off the bat, you want a sugar coated rainbows answer. Even then, you’re putting someone in a place to bite their tongue.
There is nothing that p@#ses me off more, than people asking for your opinion, then get mad when you give it.
We all need that shoulder to cry on once in awhile and we all need to ask for help once in awhile. And If we ask, we have to be able to give back in the relationship. BALANCE.
WOWZERS, I need some more coffee, k back on track friends. Tangent done.
Reaping and Sewing. It’s an actual universal law. In fact it’s Newtons law. An object in motion stays in motion. In my opinion this is sewing what you reap. AND if this law is interrupted???? Chaos.

People , more so a long time ago, use to reap what they had sewed. Creating people that grew up taking responsibility for their actions. Now before we get all crazy, this is my opinion, and I don’t mean everyone. Plus this is my blog and you may not of arrived on the same spaceship as me 😉

An action, a word spoken is something that has been put into motion… now interrupt this motion with an enabling move and the law is interrupted.
Sooo, when do we help someone? Easy, ask yourself, “self, can this person do what I am about to do for them, for themselves , is this something they have asked for repeatedly in the past?”
It’s a tricky thing, and I don’t see black and white here, but a lot of grey. For deep mental, gut wrenching issues, see a professional.
Its also, most excellent to be there for someone when they need that shoulder, or you need a shoulder.
See guys, the relationship has to go both ways for it to not be enabling. In my opinion.
When we enable, we stop the reaping and the law.
I recently learned that it’s ok not to be ok once in awhile, I also learned that when you become your authentic self, you will lose people, HOWEVER…. I’ve also learned that what comes to your authentic self is mind blowing amazingness.
I’ve started reaping what I sewed. What I sewed into myself this time.
The do unto others , as you would have them do unto you thinger , maybe is a little b@#sh@#ty. Some people are just a@#holes. They need some reaping maybe;)
I can tell you this, I am not everyone’s cup of tea. That’s ok. After being thrown away, I picked myself up and found my pack. This pack is small, but yowzers we be fierce.
You’ll find it too. Have some patience with yourself.

but it looks like the fujita scale?

WIN_20190225_17_06_39_ProImage result for fujita scale canada

It’s not,            it’s my little invention that I call the Relationship Scale.

Just for S&Giggles.

This scale Goes from R0 to R5.

Let’s get into it here.  I believe without a shadow of doubt (in my head), that a relationship would be so much easier if we could clarify what type of relationship it is.

When confusion and boundaries arise. The Scale comes out.

Now when I talk about relationships, I mean ALL relationships. If you are interacting with someone than you are in a form of relationship with them.

Now wouldn’t it be much easier if we could figure out where the relationship stands, at any given time?

So I thought I would develop the RELATIONSHIP SCALE. Based on an R0 to a R5 category.

Simply hand the person the paper, get them to circle what category they want to be in with you,  you both date and initial it. For future reference of course.

Later if need be, and both parties agree, the scale can be revisited.

I came up with this scale from years of misreading people.

I am a straight forward type of chick, I would like to take everything everyone says , as actually what they mean. 😉

Years later, I’ve come to realize this isn’t the case.

Example.  You are in a relationship with an individual, this individual has stressed over and over that they want to hear nothing but the truth from you. “Shoot straight from the hip please, don’t sugar coat things with me.” So the other person believes this statement to be true. So you get to the meat and bones of this particular convo, and blamo . Sorry, I mean KABLAMO. S*#t goes sideways. The 1st party is offended, you have no idea what the H E double hockey sticks happened. You were simply having an  R5 relationship. BUT… wait a gosh darn second. This could of simply been fixed by checking your R Scale. This person really meant they wanted an R3 relationship. My bad.

Feel free to walk into a room, having the worst day ever and you tell your bestie, ” listen I realize we are an R5, but I just need an R2 right now.”

All relationships, whether family, friends, co-workers ,lovers,customers etc., need clarity.  What a person thinks, feels and says don’t always line up.

R5 The deepest of relationships, this is no holding back. You are asked a question and the truth will be delivered. Doesn’t mean you have to be an a@#hol@. Lets get that straight. There is no weather convo hear, unless you are meteorologists and you are chasing an F5(see what I did there:)?

Fully functioning happy relationships do not have to live here. If both parties love the R3, then that’s where they should live.

You could be and R5 person and have a great relationship with a R2 person! You just know where to draw the line.

Argument breaks out ABOUT words said, you pull that little scale out of your pocket and you say, ” slow your roll, you circled and R5 pal. Argument stops. Doesn’t mean you or they are right, it means an honest opinion was asked and an honest opinion was given.

R4 The almost relationships, so close but far enough away to get out of a sticky situation. No lying is at this level as well, but you are able to just go.”hmmmmm interesting”, and walk away. R4 relationships are usually where people need to be. R5’s are intense, R4’s are a little softer.

R4’s can still stir emotions, but the cold hard truth is put aside. A work relationship, probably wont live here, unless you are the boss.

The truth is delivered gently at an R4 level.

ex: person 1, ” My boyfriend just left me, I am absolutely devastated, I don’t’ know what to do?”

Person 2, ” wait I need to check the level you circled(pause), oh I see an R4, ok sweetie this is my opinion……. He, (careful, what if they get back together?) is so the one missing out here, you are amazing. You are going to get past this and kick ass again. I am here for you, I’m going to go through this with you.”

Person 1, “what did you think of him?”

Person 2, ” well we are at an R4 level, so honestly unless he comes crawling back and is going to realize how amazing you are, I wouldn’t touch that again. Your happiness is what’s important to me. ” All True.

Notice here, you didn’t say, He was a looser in the first place, and you thought he was eating her soul. That comment stays with our R5 people.

This moves us to our R3 Relationship level.  I call this the diplomatic level.

Really this is where most relationships live.  We say we want the truth, but kids… we really don’t.

Person 1,” Do these pants make me look fat?”

Person 2, ” I love those pants, but I like the other ones better on you.”

This is where we need people to absolutely only give advice when asked, and even then it has to be delivered with tact.Good friends can happily live happily at this level.

I think the most common level of relationships lives here.

Surface conversations happen here. Honesty is great, but maybe a little sugar coating is needed at this level.

Zero wrong with this level. Zero.

This is a level more likely to keep the peace.

R2. Total surface level relationship. The bite the tongue level.No meat and bones convo’s happening here gang.

This is acquaintance level relationships. co workers, would be a great example of a relationship living here.

Also Zero wrong with this level. Its basic. weather conversations happen here. Discussions about restaurants we like and don’t like.

Eye rolling prob would happen here, because we don’t really want to voice our opinion, that would take us a little deeper. That being said , eye rolling would prob happen out of site.

R1. The we just met level, and I prob won’t remember your name unless i do some sort of word association to remember it level.

Again, nothing wrong with this level.  It’s our beginning of the scale level.  This is where 1st impressions are made.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Anyhoo this is just for fun, or maybe it’s not. Either way, I believe clarity is an art form.

The Post Bullied MoveMent

Friendship-Sign-Best-Friend-Plaque-Hanging-Gift-wooden-pendant-plaque-sign-board-best-friend-christmas-birthday-2.jpg

Friends Hey

As ALWAYS. Before we get after it here, I really need you to read the blog about me introducing myself.

It will help if you have issues with my spellin, punctuation, grammar, etc.…. It will introduce you to my thought process as well.

Well now that, that is settled, Lets Get After It.

Lets just see here why you need to purchase stuff and join my movement.

Bullied, a word that is used and used. We see pics in our head, ads on the boob tube. What we don’t see is the after math with the survivors. This is where I step in. Like a big ass high 5 to the face to step in.

What has ever happened to the survivors of this s#@t? Well we grew up, became part of the human race, and most of us learned how to be people pleasers.

BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, (I like this butt better). What the H E double hockey sticks happens when we take our life and future life into our own hands, and decide that, IN THE WORDS OF TWISTED SISTER say, “we’re not gonna take it anymore”?

I’ll tell you what happens, the earth changes her axis, people start quitting their jobs in parliament, women get to vote, it’s complete anarchy.

*SIDE NOTE… I have a google home, and I just asked how to spell a word. Now I can spell words wrong on purpose, and p@#s people off on purpose. Hahaha.

This is what happened to me anyways.

You can be bullied by friends, cousins, your kids, ex’ s, your parents, and a dog whisperer will even tell you, that you can get bullied by your dog.

Here lies the demon, we did it to ourselves. We had to learn how to survive and surviving meant rolling over for everyone. It meant, making sure their feelings were taken care of, it meant sitting and crying alone because no one knew who you really were or are. IE…. Getting long stemmed roses as a gift, cause there your fave. Then disappointed because all you really wanted was daisies from the ditch. It’s not about the gift, it’s about people not really knowing you. Not knowing, because you must wear so many masks to keep everyone happy.

I can’t make this stuff up.

Then hopefully one day, you wake up and that’s it. You are done with their crap. So, you start telling people your truth. Opinions asked and an honest answer given. That one will sting because they’ve expected cotton candy and rainbows for an answer. Well now they’re mad. You were a b@#ch or an a@#hole.

People will drop off like flies, you may only have a couple left or maybe no one. This might even be blood family gone.

YOU are in tears because you thought they cared, this is where you will yell your truth. “F@#KING RIGHTS I’M SWEET”.

It’s not their fault my friend, you taught them how to treat you. Now lets unteach them.

I stood up for myself. This is what happened. I refused to let people dump their garbage on me without me being able to dump back. When asked a question, I started asking, do you want cotton candy and rainbows, or do you want my honest opinion. Absolutely everyone said,” honest of course”. Um Ya NO they didn’t. They be gone.

Interestingly enough, what I brought in after I got over the pain. Are people who were like minded, who wouldn’t put up with my crap, and I didn’t have to put up with theirs. Guess what? We bonded like crazy.

This is what I say to you… After you get through the s@#t storm, what’s left or what will come in, will be worth it.

When I created “the F@#KING RIGHTS I’M SWEET MoveMent”, I even had some backlash about the harshity (fyi this is one of my fave words I’ve made up so far), of my words. So, I considered how to change up the wording. WWWWWWAAAAIIITTTTTT. Yes Jenn, Lets make everyone else happy.

I’m not here to please anyone BUTT myself. AND(I realize I’m not supposed to start a sentence with and, but here we are), This is the statement that I yelled out, this is the statement that pulled me up from my knees and gave me my power back.

Let’s start this movement for the survivors. Let’s start it for yourself.

For definitions on what I consider in my opinion to be bullying, please email me, and I’ll get into it a bit further.

Sunbeams and Crayons

Spent most of the day looking for sunbeams!

Found the perfect one!

It’s a little chilly where we live, so I count it a blessing to be able to work from home.

If you are getting the winter blues. I have a little coolio project for you.  Go buy yourself a new pack of crayons, download a sweet pic and color the crap out of it!

There is zero things in life compared to a new box of crayons. OMG remember the smell when you first opened THAT BOX?

Come on guys, life is to short to not have a little stupid fun.

Go be ridiculous and give it to someone. Put it on your wall at work. When someone says, “oh cute, your kid drew you a pic.” You just reply as sober looking as possible and say,” nah all me.” The reaction will be so fulfilling.

Write To……. at the top of the page and From…… at the bottom of the page.

You remember how!

Well unless you’re chicken;)

OH NO I DIDN”T.

The Blog

Let’s introduce ourselves.

I’d like us to be friends. Maybe not besties, that position has been filled, but friends.

When you need someone who just gets it, or a story to inspire, how about something to make it look like your busy in an awquard situation? I got ya!

As we get to know each other you will learn some interesting facts, not so interesting facts, realize that I am not the greatest spellest, or puntional artist, however I am straightforward, honest and crazy creative.

If grammar, spell g and punctuation: are your thing. For the love of everything holy…STOP now. I don’t have time to be formal or care to be corrected. Ask my English teacher mom, she just gave up and let me be me! That being said, she will still cringe when I say, ” me and scott”.

Plus if you can’t figure out what I mean by the rest of the sentence …. well nevermind.

I do value others opinions, each to their own and that includes myself.

Here is where you will learn things they should of had an extra class for in high school. 10 ways to cook macaroni, kids are only cute in pics, putting yourself first, bargain hunting, getting yourself out of sticky situation, how to handle hurt feelings(yourself and others), diy ing on a dime, finding the best burger, and so much more…

The daughter of a single mom, living from basement suites to campgrounds, she is so amazing that I had no idea we were less than poor. Then (is that the right than 😉 finally coming out on top!

Someone asked me what nationality I am, my answer is it depends on my mood. We have so many backgrounds, and mixing and matching that I think we are called mutts in dog jargon.

I am married to a real genuinely kind man, we have put our marriage first and Literally (He would say here, “I don’t think you know the meaning of literally), everything second.

I travel frequently with my husband for his work, so I’ve deemed myself a low/high end hotel snob. I don’t believe that just because you dont make 6 figures a year that you cant travel in comfort. You’ll get the ins and outs of the hotel world, and some hacks for making your stay awesome or at least bearable.

I live in a most excellently haunted old house or maybe it’s the wind.

I have 2 grown children and my husband has 3. We are far from the Brady bunch, but we manage.

We’ve given child support and received child support.

Days fall away fast, and I’ve come to realize that it really is true!!! Life is what you make of it. I’ve left drama behind me and this is Not as easy as it sounds. This means leaving some people behind.. However, once you get the hang of it and practice it a little….it does get easier.

Religion vs spirituality pick one or the other. Nah. I am what I am and I is what I is, my belief system is so unique that I don’t think they have created a word for it! I pray every night, almost every night, hmmm I’ve prayed. I believe if someone created me this uniquely, they had a sense of humour. I do ask for safety for 2+3 gifts every day though.

I’ll step on my kids foot and yell for them to get out of the way, but when I step on a pet, I’ll be sorry for hours, let them on the couch and get them treat.

I believe it was Coco Channel who said, ” in order to be IRREPLACEABLE one must always be DIFFERENT ”

So let’s get this party started.